Good old friend

A long time ago when I was a kid living far away from India I had a friend to whom I used to write letters and would wait for weeks to hear back from. The mere sight of his letters would bring joy to me. The envelope with my name on it and an Indian postal stamp on it meant happiness out of this world. Of course the stamp on the envelope served no purpose as it was delivered by hand by either relatives or friends coming back from India. It was a gift from my friend who knew I was fond of collecting stamps. This friend is my grandpa.

I was young when my dad’s parents passed away in the early 90s. As I remember, when dad’s mother passed away many of dad’s friends came to our home to give their condolences to dad. I was too young to understand about death. And so I grew up under the love of my mom’s parents who loved me like crazy since I was their first grandchild.

My first friend would probably be my dad from whom I derived inspirations and then mom from whom I derived love. But my grandparents offered me something more valuable. Grandpa offered me morals and grandma offered me humility.

My grandpa was a government servant and then after retirement took up social service and indulged into consumer rights protection. From an early age he always taught me to have morals and never go against them. I still hold that promise Morals are the base of a personality and they shape the character that you have with time. He never let go of his principles no matter what people told him. He believed that we get back by giving to the people around us. During casual talks he would attempt to brainwash me to join IAS, which he failed all the time as I had other plans.

Grandma on the other hand was a government school teacher. Her story of rise is rather inspiring. It was not customary for the women to go for work and also that she was from an Islamic society which was conservative during that time. So there were a lot of negative attitude from the community. On the first day to work as she walked through the street, people cursed and spat in her path. But she walked on with modesty. She walked to and from the school every day and taught children for years and years to come. Now, today, when I accompany my grandma to any community functions she is greeted by every single one of them with respect as ‘Teacher’. The grandchildren of the ones who cursed her now respect her and welcome her with dignity. I feel proud when I walk with the lady who became a symbol of liberation in the Islamic society.

I stayed for a year and a half in India and did 1^st grade schooling during which I had the most memorable times with my grandparents. I would sometimes wake up early with grandpa and go on walk with him. On coming back I would help him in kick-waking up my lazy uncle! And I used to get ready for school and then eat breakfast slowly so that I miss the school van so that grandpa would have ride the bike (which was an adventure!) and drop me at school. On coming back from school, grandpa would be waiting for me at the house entrance for me to come. I would drop the bags on the steps and run inside. He used to pick the bags up and come up following me inside.

The next year I went to live with my parents and brothers abroad and I stayed in touch with this friend of mine through handwritten letters. Those days were indeed golden! The only time we went to India was during the two month summer vacations and I would hope for it to come sooner every year to return to India.

During 9^th grade I stayed with my grandparents once again. On the night when my parents left me in their care I met with an accident on my bicycle on the way to tuitions. I fractured my leg and it was my grandparents, my aunt (the spouse of the uncle whom I used to kick-wake up!!) and my grandparents’ adopted daughter who took care of me during those four painful months towards recovery.

Yes you read it right! My grandparents adopted this girl from a poor family from Mangalore. They gave her education and she also followed the footsteps like my grandma to become a school teacher today. A few weeks back I was told that they have planned her wedding this year.

Sometimes I wonder if I can be half the man that my grandpa was during my age. Today my grandpa is in his early 80s. He still goes for his early morning walks, a little less distance covered perhaps, but still with the same briskness as always. I on the other hand have no idea when I saw sunrise last!! He still rides on his own and gets groceries for cooking after his daily walk. He still helps people with consumer rights and involves himself in social activities.

Time passed very quickly after joining college and then higher studies and then job. I never had much time to spend with him in the past decade. I got new friends and the introduction of social networking sites set off a new revolution and my friends were only those who were on my Facebook friend’s list. And grandpa was not on the list. He didn’t even have a computer let alone a Facebook account. I got many new friends and forgot this old one.

I phoned my grandparents on their wedding anniversary last week and wished them. They were extremely touched that I remembered and called. It was then it struck me that grandpa had very few friends....a few left. This world is going very fast that we forget small things which make a big difference in our lives. We have computers, broadband, mobile phones and 3g network connectivity. But we have lost that human touch and are living dangerously on things that are synthetic and unrealistic.

It then occurred to me that my grandpa was almost on the verge of loneliness as his close friends began departing into the next world one by one. I realised that this old friend needs me and I need to be there for him as a friend to support him, talk to him, and make him laugh and most importantly share feelings. He might be 58 years older than me but he’ll always be the best friend forever. When I look into his eyes I see a legend and a history of events that define this great man. I’m proud to be your grandson and still more proud to be your friend!

Love you guys!!

P.S.: I miss how you used to lift and let me fly with my arms stretched....like Superman!!